no. 29: life equations 📝
energy > proximity, sameness ≠ stability, and the math behind progress
Hi friends,
Hello from the short final exam hiatus. We’re back and in good cheer!
Thank you all for your support; we were ecstatic to see that we reached this year’s subscriber goal 🤩 When we first started calling to discuss KC, we thought it’d just be a small newsletter for a circle of friends. It’s absolutely insane that there are hundreds of Kopi Club friends out there – from all over the world: from familiar places (New York, Philly) to places further out (France, Russia, The Netherlands)!
PS: A cool announcement – we are proud to say that Kopi Club is going carbon-neutral! Here’s why: each newsletter we send out has a carbon footprint, so we’re working with Wren.co to donate to fantastic charities that help us offset that. Our referral link is here: if you have a newsletter and would like to use them, they will plant 20 extra trees with our referral :)
(Cover photo by @iamzuemra)
J:
Big Questions, Many Small Answers
Earlier this week, @subliming.jpg shared this Zora Neale Hurston quote:
“There are years that ask questions and years that answer.”
Come December, this quote always seems to resurface, but it's particularly compelling to think about again as 2020 comes to a close. Though many large questions loom, this year has also given way to many small but important lessons. Here are a few:
Cage's Rule #8: Don’t try to create and analyze at the same time. They’re different processes.
A clear distinction, but one that I often forget. Combining the two leads to overthinking; instead, embrace the former in its fullness. As a designer, photographer, writer – I’m learning that a pure state of creation is when I am happiest.
Sameness ≠ Stability
I wrote about this idea back in July, and find myself coming back to it again. Familiarity does not always breed comfort or support. Sometimes creating a stronger foundation for yourself requires letting go of all that is not needed.
Against Maximizing
Right before countries went into lockdown, I read a post by Haley Nahman; to paraphrase one of her key ideas: a pandemic is not something we have to make the most of. As we approach 2021, a reminder to myself and others that we are more than just our productivity.
N:
3 Reflections on This Year + New Writing
Energy > Proximity.
This year has given me a clearer indication of how much lightness/heaviness people bring into my life.It allowed me to step back from proximity friendships and instead focus on energy friendships – those who uplift and give joy. At the same time, try to be a source of lightness for others.
What We Pay Attention To Matters.
What we choose to focus on becomes the entirety of our world. Susan Sontag: “Do stuff. be clenched, curious....Pay attention. It's all about paying attention. attention is vitality. It connects you with others. It makes you eager. stay eager.” Attention is vitality.
Knock on Doors Rather Than Windows.
I learned this concept from a podcast in 2019 – there are two types of people in the world: Window Openers and Door Knockers. Window Openers are people who only choose to perform an action because they can see the outcome on the other side. Door Knockers are people who put their thoughts/words out into the world, without knowing what will reciprocate/what the reward will be (what will be behind the door). Door Knockers create more space for serendipity.
This year, through a few projects I’ve made so many incredibly intelligent and thoughtful new friends who have similar interests through sharing without any expectations. Aspiring to be more of a door knocker rather than a window opener, and am working on it :)
New Writing
I wrote a short piece about closure on reading supply – here’s an excerpt but you can read the full piece here.
J:
on break
and no, not just a study break. Hello, four class-free weeks 🤸🏻♀️
The dance break (thank you, The Crown S4)
The out-on-a-walk break
The exercise break
The happy hour break
And for a full compilation of songs that I will be jamming to for the rest of the month, check out this playlist 👀 :
N:
A HUGE LISTEN LIST
This week, I’d like to share some of my favorite podcasts:
The Knowledge Project by Shane Parrish (Concepts/Learning)
The Partially Examined Life by Mark Linsenmayer (Philosophy)
Unlocking Us by Brene Brown (Life/Learning)
On Being by Krista Tippett (Spirituality/Life)
Alongside some podcasts recommended by my twitter friends (thank you!)
Longform (@anulman)
Lex Fridman Podcast (@ottuba)
North Star, Reply All (@juliancanderson)
The Anthropocene Reviewed (@____josh)
Alex & Books (@mindyourbite)
Problems Sighted (@tdoggyholhol)
How I built this by NPR (I love this one too) (@Q2099)
J:
the joys of being home
the fact that kopi club can now meet in person: need I say more?
home-cooked meals: making up for all the Filipino dishes I did not have for the last 5 months.
being around green things: though Philly does take on a different charm come winter, I was born and raised in the tropics and am very, very happy to celebrate the holidays in this warm weather.
N:
Fantastic Books I’ve been reading this week:
Make it Scream, Make it Burn (Leslie Jamison is simply fantastic! Her other collection The Empathy Exams is also one of my favorites)
How to Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan
Coventry by Rachel Cusk
Reflection Templates
I’ve been trying to find a nice template to reflect on the end of year with and stumbled across Patricia Mou’s Wellness Wisdom Annual Review Template!
Things I Saved This Week
J:
“The lessons of impermanence taught me this: loss constitutes an odd kind of fullness; despair empties out into an unquenchable appetite for life.” – Gretel Ehrlich, The Solace of Open Spaces
N:
“Anything you do not give freely and abundantly becomes lost to you. You open your safe and find ashes.” – Annie Dillard
J:
starting a 2021 mood board
Some things inspiring me to keep learning and creating this coming year
things to look at:
@johnpawson - unlike most Instagram accounts, this one feels like the equivalent of taking a deep breath. The more time I spend on Pawson’s account, the more I want to move to the English countryside.
@filmphotomag & @shootfilmmag - as my planner empties out, I anticipate using some of this newfound free time to play with my camera. These are some of my favorite photos from two accounts I love:
things to read
Pandora Sykes, How Do We Know We’re Doing it Right?
David George Haskell, The Songs of Trees
PSYCHE - a digital magazine bridging art, philosophy and psychology (thank you, Bluprint, for the recommendation!)
And with a senior thesis on art, neuroaesthetics and memory - I especially loved this article
things to listen to:
dada podcast - Nicole and I discussed how Moya and Lauren feel like our Irish counterparts (though, perhaps this is a bold statement). Still, a fun listen!
hidden brain - an ode to all the scientific concepts that found their way into this newsletter (and for the many more science metaphors in future Kopi Club’s 🤓)
N:
Unexpectedness + Reflection = Progress
“The difference between predictions and outcomes is the key to understanding a strange property of learning: if you’re predicting perfectly, your brain doesn’t need to change further… Changes in the brain happen only when there’s a difference between what was expected and what actually happens.”
David Eagleman, a neuroscientist, writes the above paragraph in his book about the brain, Livewired. I remember learning this in my Neuroscience class years ago and being very inspired by the idea. Unexpectedness + Reflection = Progress (a slightly different take to Ray Dalio’s ‘Pain + Reflection = Progress’). It seems much more relevant this year.
Eagleman goes on to say that he coined the term Livewired in order to reflect how the brain is more than just plastic (meaning that it can be easily reshaped and molded) – it is dynamic (endlessly shifting, changing and patterning itself due to experiences). Our brains are being reshaped by every experience, every conversation, every goal and every wish. If we see it like this, then there is the capacity for small change and growth every day. I really love that idea.
Hugs,
J & N